Top 3 Realizations You Must Know Before Dating Korean Women!

Back by popular demand. This is a guest post by BlueM. You can find his newest ebook here.

I’ll get straight to the point.

If you’re coming to Korea and want a serious relationship with a Korean woman, think twice!

Contrary to what many clueless people say: dating or getting seriously involved with a Korean woman, isn’t easy at all. In fact it can be downright frustrating no matter how much you love each other!

I’ve been living in South Korea for more than 3 years, going on dozens of dates and then dating many Korean women not because I wanted to, but because of I had no other choice: I’m a foreigner.

I’ll explain.

I’ve read books about the country, am learning the language, and have helped both foreigners and Koreans with their dating lives. These are my conclusions:

Korea has some of the most beautiful and fun women in the world, but if you want to have a serious relationship with them in Korea you need to understand and accept a few things.

You need to understand that dating a foreigner is still seen as taboo here. On top of that, you’re going to have communication barriers beyond just language. Finally, you need to ask yourself how long you plan on living in Korea and if it’s worth it at all!

Dating a foreigner is still taboo!

When it comes to relationships, the only difference between dating in North Korea and South Korea is that both countries have different governments (Not that I’ve tried anything in North Korea! ;-) )

In spite of the “integration” that’s been happening in South Korea’s tourism industry, a Korean woman dating a foreign man is frowned upon and a woman’s peers assume that she is unable to find a proper Korean man so she has to settle for a foreigner.

I’m sorry, but that’s how it is in Korea. I told you, this is going to be brutal, but if you plan on coming here, I want you to know what I wish someone had told me. I want you to know just what you’re facing so that you won’t be as disappointed as I have been countless times.

To add to the fire, foreigners are harshly misrepresented in the Korean media, especially English Teachers. The standard viewpoint of English Teachers is that they’re “losers back home” who can’t get a proper job.  Armed with their fake degrees, they’ll come to Korea to make more money than they’re worth in the marketplace, or to spread AIDS with everyone who’s wearing a skirt.

I hate to say it, but foreigners will never be a part of Korean society as we know it: harmonious, functional, “pure”…

Discover the 3 main choices Korean women make!

So what happens? Korean women either:

a/ choose to go overseas and don’t tell their peers about their relationship(s) with foreigners
b/ choose to have a fling (or two) with foreigners just to satisfy a curiosity
c/ choose to go against their peers and thus against Korean society

When my Korean friends go overseas for the first time, I warn them. I tell them that they will not be the same person when they come back.

Like flying fish that jump out of the water for the first time, they will know that there is more to life than the society in which they grew up in (as for anyone leaving their native surroundings for the first time!)

Some of my Korean friends liked travelling so much that they never really came back. Their bodies might be back in Korea, but their minds and imagination is still overseas.

Choice (b) is very common in Korea. Now with an influx of foreign foods, goods, and people, both men and women are “sampling” foreigners to satisfy their curiosity.

This has hurt me the most. Many times I have had women leave our relationship simply because they never saw it as anything serious anyway (Not that there’s anything really wrong with that.)

Korean women are starting to explore their sexuality (which is great news) but they would not consider a serious relationship with a foreigner because of the reasons I talk about here.

For the last choice, Korean women must seriously consider what their peers will think of them. They have to deal with the stares that they’ll be getting on the street, in the subway, when they try to introduce you to their families.  Not to mention the barrage of questions they’ll be getting such as “Is he just another English Teacher?” or “Wasn’t he on T.V. For raping so and so?”

Note: I’m not even speaking for the foreigners who aren’t Westerners. If you’re from developing countries or aren’t white, then get ready to deal with worse than what I’m talking about here!

If you’re in Korea, you’ll have to accept the fact that some old man (adjoshi) might chase you down , yelling obscenities at your girlfriend just because she is with you. Sure, this is rare, but I’ve had it happen and have heard about it happen to too many friends to ignore it.

Just a few months ago, this article came out. Times are changing but are they changing fast enough so that your Korean girlfriend can feel comfortable enough to just walk with you?

Communication issues

Dating someone from another culture is challenging not only because of the ‘language problem’. You also have to understand and accept that the other person has other values and beliefs too! For Korean women, they hold values and beliefs that their society and culture have given them ever since they were little girls.

For one thing, many Korean women have the fears that I’ve talked about earlier.You also need to understand that in general Korean society tends to value:

-  harmony more than justice
-  the group more than the individual
-  conformity more than independence
-  silence more than sound
-  not being seen as wrong more than being right
-  social status more than the person who has it

These differences in values are what frustrates foreigners the most both in sexual and non-sexual relationships (you can read more about Korean dating values by clicking on the link.)  If you plan on coming to Korea and what to date Korean women, you need to understand that in most cases, what they value and seek out of a relationship is different than what you might expect from your home country…radically different!

We’re not even talking about the language barrier yet. So imagine you are attracted to a Korean woman, and she is attracted to you. The fact of the matter is, if you can’t communicate with her then building anything ‘long term’ will be difficult, if not impossible.

Sure, you can get involved, and even have a relationship started, but eventually she and you will want to talk about deeper things and feelings. Not only that, but you will both have different expectations in your relationship.

Foreigners aren’t in Korea forever

Finally, you need to ask yourself one question: Is South Korea a place you plan on settling in or not?
Many foreigners choose to leave after a taste of Korea and that makes locals conclude that foreigners aren’t in Korea for the long term.

Many Korean women don’t want to get emotionally involved with a foreigner because somewhere in their mind, they figure that the foreigner will leave sooner or later.

What about you? Are you planning on making Korea a place to live in? Or are you just passing by? If you’ve just come to Korea, then don’t worry about this question. You’ll have plenty of time during your stay here to ask yourself that.

The reason why I pose this question to you because you have to be honest with both yourself and with the women you’re with. I personally believe that if you’re not planning on staying here for more than a year, then just have fun and enjoy your time here (just don’t lie to the women you’re with! ;-) )

Know what you’re dealing with and stay aware!

If you’re like me, and you’re seriously considering getting involved with a Korean woman, then understand the obstacles and roadblocks you’ll facing and start looking for that diamond in the rough!

Sure, my experience is that of a typical guy in his late-twenties living in Seoul. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to be a pessimist. In fact I believe that if you’re willing to accept these facts (with an emphasis on “accept”) you can find ways around it. Many people have and are both in happy relationships and happily married in Korea.

I’m also not saying that there aren’t valid reasons for the circumstances we face. Too many foreigners have been careless and foolish here. Too many Koreans got hurt and they don’t want others to suffer the same fate. That’s why I’ve chosen to share my thoughts with you and prepare you for this wonderful country with it’s own wonders and challenges.

Thanks for reading!  For more Korean women dating tips click on the link for more!

BlueM

Comments

  1. Good stuff. I especially, like the frankness…you definitely get kicked in the teeth every now and then in Korea, but it’s well worth it :smile:

  2. I would agree with most of this… I was with a Korean girl for a short while and she told me that her friends in Korea were worried that she was with me and encouraged her not to pursue a serious relationship. We\’re still friends now but the relationship ended more for religious reasons. She was a devout Christian, (as many Koreans are), and basically thought I was going to hell because I no longer considered myself a Christian… kind of a deal breaker in a long term relationship for me…

  3. LongTimeKoreaXpat says:

    I’ll start by saying that I am not replying with the intention of insulting the author or to begin a debate. My comments reflect my opinion and my experience living in Korea. The author clearly has his opinions and experiences and I don’t mean to insult, cast doubt or belittle his opinions or experience in any way. I respect his opinion, and only comment in order to share my slightly similar, yet also different view on dating and relationships in Korea. I hope my opinion is respected equally.

    Many of the comments expressed in the author’s comments reflect a side of the dating world in Korean society that many expats have experienced. I have experienced some of what is described myself. I do not, however, feel that it is fair to condemn the entire society with this label, or to suggest that foreigners casually dating or in more serious relationships with Korean women will experience this with such guarantee.

    Korea has a complex social system, of this there is no doubt. However, just as in all societies, it is filled with a wide spectrum of people. Some lean left privately, others publicly. Some lean right privately, others publicly. Mixed-race couples in Korea sadly, but inevitably cross paths with a loud-mouthed intolerant racist at some point, but this is also true of mixed-race couples in our home countries (whether it be in North America, Europe, Asia or anywhere else.)

    We may not hear about it as often, but asking friends in mixed-race relationships at home will almost certainly verify that it occurs. Because the couple at home understand the hidden nuances of society at home, they understand that those unpleasant encounters do not represent the views of the society. They ignore the ignorant comments, understanding they only represent an uneducated, often mentally unstable minority. Compared to our home societies, Korea remains a much less well-understood society regardless of the amount of time we’ve lived here.

    Many foreigners have decoded, analyzed and integrated very little of Korean society. Many are perplexed by the motivations that govern thoughts, opinions, decisions and actions of native members of Korean society. They insist on trying to make sense of what’s really going on here by applying the filter of reason and rationale that they use in their home societies. Others have dropped the formulas that successfully predict thought and behavior at home, and have found a somewhat deeper understanding of this foreign society by creating new formulas. These individuals have integrated more fully and generally more happily.

    It is important to note though, that regardless of the level of integration, they still have a far inferior understanding of Korean society than they do of society in their home country. The confusion and misunderstanding of Korean society, and the opinions and actions of individuals in Korea leads them to overestimate the level of intolerance and ignorance, and what is easily brushed off at home as the rantings of a member of the closed-minded fringes of society, is mistakenly taken as representative of a larger group with a more mainstream view.

    Three years is really only the very beginning of the decoding, revising and reexamining process when it comes to developing any level of real understanding of an extremely complex social system and society like Korea’s. After three years, I thought I truly understood quite a lot. After four I understood much more, but firmly realized how much less I had understood after three. After five years, the same was true when looking back to four. This has continued through what is now my 14th year in Korea. Although I understand Korean thought and motivation, and the rules and playbook that govern Korean society much more now, I know that in many situations, my understanding is far less than complete. I have no doubt that it will continue to grow and develop, but will never reach absolute, confident, complete understanding.

    In my experience, there are many kinds of women in Korea, with a variety of possible motivations for being with a foreigner in Korea. This is equally true in our home countries. Some attract more attention from the undesirable members of society than others. However, I have found, and do believe that the overwhelming majority of people in Korean society recognize when they see a couple in a deep relationship and respect it. Sometimes there is a curiosity, and some may even ask unusual questions. This is often mistaken as being malicious or insulting in nature, but is actually always innocent. Of course, there are the idiots young or old. There always will be, but they exist at home in more or less equal numbers.

    My problem with the original post was that it didn’t include all the positive possibilities that many experience. To say that the negative things are what people should expect, without also mentioning the positives is inaccurate, misleading, and unfair.

    If your choice is to make it all about no-strings-fun relationships, then make sure its mutual and enjoy the experiences. Don’t expect everyone to be as happy for you as you are, but most importantly, ignore the idiots out there just as you would at home. If you look to find a deeper, maybe long-term/life-time relationship, then enjoy that path, as well. It’s just as potentially bumpy as it is at home, and you’ll still have to ignore the idiots in the world, but the potential to find a wonderful, positive life-long relationship (that includes equally loving in-laws, friends and co-workers) exists, as well.

  4. I have been living in Korea for the past 2 months and I was involved with a girl. It\’s not because I find them attractive, Its because you don\’t find other girls here in Korea.

    I don\’t mean to condemn Koreans or the similar race, but the reason they are not attractive at all is because of their deformed eyes and shape of their faces. I think evolution wise there is something seriously wrong with Korean race. Why else there eyes would be like that.
    And these girls are crazy about white guys. The only reason they don\’t date many because they cant speak or understand a word of English. But still most of them dream of living in US. Also most of the things they copy and try to imitate US. Like baseball, golf even religion.
    So if you are a white and want to date a Korean girl its not difficult. Just find a girl who can speak English or learn to speak korean. Then you\’ll have hell lot of girl opportunities…

  5. this is word from the homelessexual white man who does not understand Korea culture. In Korea there is no aids until the white man and chocolate man arrive to poison Korea lady. That is why Korean culture is very frighten about the poreigner, can you criticize for that? Many poreigner make romance inside the Korean lady and then leave Korea because of fail the drug test for example, and then we have strangee look baby like hines ward (but he ok because he is famous hip hop man). Also it is very important to look after family and education cost is very high in Korea, englishee teach cannot afford to pay MBA cost at Harvard for example. Don’t blame the Korea lady because you are gay style like Tim Okazaki.

  6. LongTimeKoreaXpat, you sound like the founder of KBC, not that you are, but your confused Korea washed logic is the same as his. There is a problem with following advice from what I like to call “Born Again Koreans” like you. You’re not normal and are anomalies.

    I take it you’re were an American that came to Korea in the late 80′s / 90′s and never left. Why did you escape your life back home? Publicly, you might provide a sugar coated answer that would be understandable if you were escaping from places like Nigeria such as “to seek a better opportunities”, or a Korea Tourism type answer like, “I fell in love with the culture, and never left”. When people permanently leave developed western countries and jump into Korea with your level of commitment, it’s not normal.

    There are usually deep psychological and identity issues at play that intensely fuel motivation to become so integrated and earn approval from Korean society. Sometimes it’s purely emotional, such as following in love with a native and wanting to stay.

    What I’m trying to say is you’re an exception to the rule. Normal people don’t easily drop their identities as much as you did. In fact, Koreans don’t do it either. Out of all the Asian-American groups in the US, they are among the most ethnocentric and resistant to assimilate. That’s why places like Korea Town in LA still thrive while Chinatowns, Little Tokyos are scaling down to tourist attractions rather than a necessity.

    Food for thought: Do you see the hypocrisy and paradox in your effort to assimilate into Korea? Assuming you had a stable, married and healthy parents back in the states, your economic situation was stable, and you had sense of history and tradition back home. Then your permanent expatriation to a country that was still developing to work as what I’m assuming was an ESL teacher in the 80′s / 90′s is counter-culture to Korean society. You left your own family’s dinner table to try and find a seat at a Korean one. You could live in Korea for 50 more years, but you can’t expunge that from the back of a proud, nationalistic, culture & family loyal Confucian mind. What you did was opposite of that.

  7. ehehe!
    I like a few of this comments, but the best one is the original one. I guess he is totally aware about this.
    Anyway: I have been involved and seriously in love for a korean woman 18 years ago. The relationship ended after 2 years when we had to go to the deeper decision: get together officially with her family. So, she got married after a few blind dates, as korean tradition mostly imposes ( let’s avoid to talk about it..) We were in Italy, that moment.
    Now, 18 years ago, in Seoul, I got trapped again by this amazing beauty wich is korean eyes ( sorry Mike, your are totally busted) After two months in Korea and 2 in Italy ( I was in Italy, she was here) she said it to her family and, again, same story. She got surrounded by the family as a defence against “that italian man” and she will be again in blind date soon…and soon married. I bet.
    If you are a girl around 30 years old, and you are a not an officially-engaged-korean girl…well…good luck! I thought Korea, but mostly a huge city like Seoul or Pusan, the city of my first korean love, had changed alot in this 2 decades, but not enought to solve this traditional problem.
    Maybe we have the same problem in Italy, I have no idea, I never heard about it from any of my friends, but it will be on south or in a very small villages. As you understand, and you know a bit about math, i’m not a teenager anymore.
    Anyway… I might be inclusive, but I don’t want now.
    I’m just frustrated and sad.
    And a bit angry!

  8. well…mr. Cho and Mr. Koreanblah:
    relax man!
    Another friend of mine, a spanish teacher, architect, used to live and work in New York in a very good firm, moved to Seoul and he still living here since more than 2 years. He said that if you learn too much to speak korean or if you stay here too long eveybody think that you are a looser in your country!
    ahah !…I can’t believe that he is right…
    I guess this is a sign of a very deep sense of inferiority.
    Sorry about that.

  9. Susan -> reply to KoreaBlah says:

    Even if he was a Korean that came America in the 1980s or 90s what difference does that make? What makes you have a better stand on the issue?

    Look, I have as much nationalistic spirit as the other guy but I realize Korea has its issue socially, politically, and all around. What country doesn’t? What if he does have pride for Korea? You make it like it wrong. For the record Koreans have been immigrating back and forth to the States and Korea since the 1950s. There are plenty of first, second, third generations Korean, Korean Americans for years. There is also plenty of other cultures with the same idea Europe for instance.

    Concerning people like the long time Expat, many have the same right or further say they are both American and Korean. I for a fact, have a American passport, birth certificate and every proof that I am a full blooded American as much as a Korean.

    The issue at hand is Korea is still a very Conservative society whether you like it or not. That means foreigner acceptance or dating a foreigner is harder. That does not mean every Korean person is conservative though. Korea is progressing every so quickly by the day. The GDP from 1970s Korea to now is incredible, it is incredible how fast they have come. As a result of that social change Korea needs to catch up to the societal liberation of the west that comes with economic prosperity which is why Korean still view other white men like you as not marriage worthy.

    But there is also an another issue speaking as both an American born and raised in Jersey and a Korean women, some American men come off as pigs. Many come to Korea because they only see the beauty of these girls as the only quality worth for a sexual romp. Even if they Americans date native Korean women many do not take the time to learn the culture, learn Korean diligently. Besides many as the OP said are there temporarily to earn some cash until America become stable again. During that time they see nothing wrong about dragging on their SO for months until, “Oh I decided I am not going to stay in Korea anymore”. Many men live out their fetish dream and quit. Trust me the amount of American men fetishizing Korean women or Any Asian women is staggering and fucking creepy. Get over yourself, you just don’t know Korea well and you are making assumptions based on what? nothing. Unless you lived in Korea for more than 3 or 4 years you don’t know Korea.

  10. i really like you’re articles! but i have to say that the korean community isn’t a place where they look down on people dating foreigners…its a new thing for us and yes some people think its bad or whatever but honestly we don’t really care…go to insadong and you’ll find many korean girls with tall white guys just cruising about and no one looks..i saw a black guy with a korean girl…no one cares…i mean koreans already see so many foreginers because of business, politics, education etc. we don’t look at a western person and say “OMO! its a white guy!” we just think yeah whatever cool….probably some familes (parents) don’t approve of dating western guys because a) he might leave soon…b) the parents are worried about communication….c) just not used to it..but our generation will be a lot more accepting i hope!

    keep up the awsome articles! hwaiting!!

    ps) i’m korean so this isn’t some thing i made up!

  11. this is true…but accept the fact that korean girls can be easily F*cked… ive been in boracay, philippines several times and whenever i met a korean woman i am very sure i will get a score on her.. but if you ask them about their personal details like e-mail adds etc., to communicate in the future, they wont give it… they just want sex with foreigners not serious relationships…

  12. well..maybe not all.. but there are many :lol:

  13. I find it sad that the main issue is that they are racist…

  14. @Paul: Some great info to expect, was getting me a little down lol but it’s good to have some realistic expectations as a potential foreigner coming soon.
    @LongTimeKoreaXpat: Thanks for the positive input buddy. As someone w/ 14 years under his belt I found your info helpful. I was getting a little discouraged about going :)
    @Susan: Thanks for standing up for the X-pat lol as a Korean, an American and a woman it was good hearing your side of how things are rather than the few blatant, racist, and baseless comments above.
    @smink: Glad to know that things aren’t so taboo concerning dating. I hope to travel to Seoul within the next few months or so, so your info as well was great.

  15. arriiviste says:

    Why all the pontificating in regard to dating Korean women in Korea? Fact:(1) a person can stay in Korea for their lifetime and never be accepted, they will always be a \’foreigner\", same in Japan, same in China.(2) Why should a girls parents be enthralled with their daughter dating a \’foreigner?\" If the couple marry, the blood line is now \"broken\" whether they accept that fact or not.(3) If children result from the relationship, they will face a really hard time within their own peers.Please, people, refrain from telling me I am incorrect, I have witnessed it on plenty of occasions. (4) Korean girls have an easier time overseas in a relationship with a \"foreigner\’ than if they stay in Korea.There are always exceptions to the rules, but that\’s like counting a hens teeth!!

    Korea is Korea, why would any foreigner think they could ever understand the mindset of a Korean? Korean girls are easy to date, the same applies to China and Japan, afford them lot\’s of respect,courtesy,manner\’s and just go with the flow and have the wit not to insult anyone. by listening before speaking. Why try and change the social order? It\’s just not going to happen.Based on personal experience, people in Korea, Japan and China, will give a foreigner a lot of lee-way, providing they remember where they are and that they are a guest in the country.Of course, one could be cynical when visiting said countries, and live by the motto,\"expect nothing and one will never be disappointed\". All personal choices.

  16. Pedro Ambrosio says:

    \"Korean women are starting to explore their sexuality (which is great news)\" WELL DECENT KOREAN WOMEN DON\’T WANT TO DATE WHITE PEOPLE LIKE YOU BECAUSE OF THIS… U PEOPLE COME WITH BIG FETISHISM… DO YOU THINK WHITE GIRLS WOULD DATE ASIAN MAN? ….NOPE. SO COME ONE STOP WHINING AND GO HOME.

  17. Pedro Ambrosio says:

    MIKE SAID: “So if you are a white and want to date a Korean girl its not difficult. Just find a girl who can speak English or learn to speak korean. Then you\’ll have hell lot of girl opportunities…” SEE WHAT I AM TALING ABOUT WHITE FUCKS ARE SICK… THEY ONLY WANT FAST SEX… BIG TIME FETISHISM… LOVE? CURIOSITY TO LEARN THE KOREAN CULTURE? MY ASS…

  18. @everyone, i am a first time commenter and i am just sharing my views. i am black british (hoping that wont make a difference) and i consider myself a realist. that being said i hope my comment is actually read and not criticized prematurely.

    I have never been to korea, but i do plan on going there. i do speak korean as a hobby, eat korean food, practice some korean cultures and watch korean dramas. I do try and interact with korean people here in london and i am treated like anybody else.

    what i feel people fail to understand is whether a korean girl, or a japanese girl or even an english girl, they are all still girls. the rules of dating a korean girl can be applied to any amount of girls from any other race. in reality if a girl likes you she will be with you through thick and thin. the prejudices we are pointing out with koreans and foreigners is still there within the rich and the poor. i know that i still go through racial hatred in london from some white people. as much as london is racially diverse there are still white girls being frowned upon for dating a specific type of people. i think that by calling out a race we ourselves are being ignorant. i do have many uncles who are in asia and married asian women. they had to go through hurdles and so too did my sister who had a child with a lithuanian in london. that wasnt a korean at that time. yes cultures are different, yes languages and beliefs and beliefs are different, but we shouldnt be putting koreans on the spot, arguing about societal structure of a country we arent from. they are still human beings. i personally dont believe it is harder to date a koren girl than dating any other girl outside my race. as for the part about aids and sexual diseases that again is still spread by different races i know of chinese men and japanese men who do pass it on unto black girls in other countries, but that doesnt mean that i will start saying the asian race as a whole is unclean. i dont think a general statement can be made by anybody until he goes around all the towns and cities of south korea and dates every single last girl.

  19. Hi, I served in the Military there up on the DMZ. I left a Beautiful girlfriend behind I now think about all the time. What a mistake I made. She was a wonderful person. A manager in a tea House in the Village of Pobwon\’ni. I have photos and her name. Is there any way I could find out her status or get in touch with her ?? I would Greatly appreciate any help in this manner. Thanks

  20. stop_censoring_truth says:

    1st all FU*K america
    2nd we Koreans arent a fu*kin buffet for u filthy crackers and ni99ers from america and the \”west\” to sample
    3rd FU*K america
    4th Koreans are a HOMOGENEOUS race that have been around for over 5000 years as opposed to america that is only 236 yrs old and attribute their success to all the immigrants they have used and abused (sociologically speaking this would be called the \”brain drain\”)
    5th Being sexually active as a Korean woman is not a good thing and should not be encouraged for u filthy foreigners to benefit off of
    6th F*CK american and western culture and ideals coming into our country if u think about it some aspects of north Korea is good especially the fact they are AWARE of western imperialism and their insidious ways to encroach upon homogeneous nations and deprave them of their rich and matured culture
    7th u racist bit*hes treat us Asians like SH*T in america and the west and DENIGRATE us in the MEDIA and socially and expect us to assimilate to your primitive barbaric ways or continue getting treated like sh*t SERIOUSLY FU*K AMERICA B*TCH
    8th the day more and more Asians wake up to your F*CKIN bullshit the better afterall we have the most people in the world and can EASILY unite if only our people would wake up from these divide and conquer tactics u filthy crackers use on us (especially u zionists)
    9th DONT GIVE ME THAT \”oh well not everyone is like that\” CRAP we all know this to be true but the MAJORITY IS IGNORANT only a SMALL percentage of u foreigners TRULY care about us and the PRESERVATION of our people and culture and everything nice
    10th the imperialists USE these small percentages of people who are interested in foreign culture as PROXIES in a soft subtle war against us to maintain and spread their cultural hegemony. They use these small percentage to lure innocent Korean people into their culture and coaxing them that their corrupt way of life is superior to their native culture. Whether it be thru the use of media and pop media culture, fashion, food, products, art, and other millions of things, they use this to slowly infiltrate and destroy. I know North Korea treats their people like dogsh*t but they have the right mindset when they say FU*K AMERICA AND THE WEST B*TCH!!!!!!!

  21. katiesmom says:

    I am confused about these comments. I have been married, here in America, to a korean man. Yes, even here a blonde white girl and a full blooded korean mancan experience prejudice. I would expect the same if we lived in Korea. However, we have been married for 18 years and have the most beautiful daughter. You have been discussing the difficulties of dating Korean women. What about those of us in America who were virgins on our wedding night due to being Catholics? Is it difficult for foreign women to date Korean men? I have never judged a man by his race. Only by the important things in life such as how he treats me and his priorities.

  22. mike afable says:

    :???:

    Hi!! Thanks a lot for the very enlightening thoughts you shared to the readers!!!! I am very interested in having a serious relationship with a Korean woman and even thinking of marrying one since my father said that they are religious.

    I have no Korean friends now and wanted to find and have one.

    I don’t mind adjusting to their culture as long as we’ll be happy together, forever God willing!!!

    mike afable from the Philippines

  23. jawad amin says:

    i like korea

  24. Angry Patriot says:

    America as a nation has only existed 236 years
    Last I checked South Korea became a country in 1953 after we worked
    And lost men fighting to give you the economically developed country
    You have today and lastly you say fuck America but who the fuck you think is gonna
    Help you when DPRK, China and Russia gang up on you.
    Quite honestly I dont care how ignorant I sound, but The way I was raised was to show appreciation and give credit where credit is due you ungrateful fuck

  25. There is definately a lot to know about this issue. I really like all the points you have made.

  26. As a white male,
    Not bad to look at, I find it quite easy to meet korean women in fact any asian woman.
    It’s like I don’t have to chase, it’s given to me so much easier than a European or even American. I find it quite sad that it’s so easy at times. I’m not helping either not because I don’t want to but because I can’t help myself. I guess it’s sometimes true that asian women are easy.

  27. This has been an interesting discussion. I know that the korean culture isn’t all that pure as they make out to be. The men work late and have call girls sit and eat with them while their wives are home taking care of their children and elderly parents. People are human no matter what. It doesn’t matter what color you are or what country you come from. If your are a man of honor and respect or a woman with honor and respect, then that is ideal and attainable. Otherwise, men can be pigs and woman bitches. Its how responsible and educated you are. Its how you handle your own behavior and what you allow yourself to be influenced by. Becoming educated about other cultures by living in different countries isn’t a negative thing. I think its ideal over reading from a textbook or watching a video. It is the ignorance and psychological weaknesses from the human mind that allows the negativity and the racism. Tolerance isn’t going to break you and your beliefs if you and your family are psychologically strong and educated enough to know the difference between stupidity and intellectual actions. To know the difference between a person of class and moral character
    and the idiot with no morals. They all exists in every race, class and gender! Be knowledgable, be a role model….not a disgrace to the human race.

  28. @stop_censoring_truth- damn damn damn 100% true.,, I totally agree with all 10 points which you have addressed. You Stupid foreigners and westerners do not understand lots of things.. that you consider as a kid in the world in compare with ASIA.. you do not understand life is huge and big and have lots of different aspects.. it is not all about money and economy.. these shits are your invention through last 100 years only… HEY MORONS listen we have been on this planet for more than 4500 years before YOU… do you understand the roots??? what do you guys think human were doing before Economy growth and all this Zionist CRAP…
    We were there on earth living a life .. filled with knowledge and experience through out millenniums … so once you put your feet in our continent .. you better shut your mouth up , respect and F**king sit down and learn… you are no one to turn a society that old, into your homogeneous play toy with low self esteem like other countries (what you guys did to Latin America) to die for you and lick your ass for gold…
    We are the countries who pays to your economic which are market for your shitty undemanding products which you guys with force and tricks create demand for them… you better take a look at Korean flag before you come in , to understand one of deepest meaning of life concepts through out history… so if you are those sort of a crackhead , dumb asses which says \"yeah so whatever , everyone is not suppose to know all those craps\" ,, so better stay out of our land , we have prostitutes outside as well , go get touch of those,,..
    and just for the record, Koreans are busy on some other important things inside rather to deal with your foreigners stuff and issues.. Korea is country with a mission and their people work and live on that mission.. they have got no time for this sort of crap… either you as foreigner are in here to contribute to that mission and learn either get the hell out…
    Why do you western people think everywhere you should be warmly welcomed and have the cope of the cream..??/? what makes you special on our planet ?? a planet which has been proven that we existed on way before you and your ancestors… Korean Society is highly protected society in all means… and you have to learn how to live with it not compare it.. this is something you will never understand… CULTURES ARE UNIQUE…. unique means incomparable so watched it and learn it moron… i know they do not teach you these stuff in your land .. because west is all about drinking and SEx … and the rest \"WHATEVER\" this is sort of culture they promote in your land to keep you dumb… but not in ASIA…

  29. Vince Lee says:

    Money is making koreans arrogant. The stories I am hearing is smiliar to my stay in Japan. However , I have very good news for Americans wanting to meet korean girl friends. The economy is korea, japan is really getting to be pretty bad. Because all their companies has moved to CHINA. The less economically these countries are. The more available their women will be. The more money they have , the more arrogant these women will be. Because of the economy , the women will be more available, just like the phillppines. Something to look forward to. Those jealous korean men. Your days are numbered.

  30. Im a korean woman andI agree with u in some some extent

  31. @ stop censoring truth.

    You just cant accept that the white man saved you and propped up your fake pseudo state “Republic of Korea” from North Korean invasion in 1950.

    Why not just defect to North Korea? Seems like you care about nationalism above all other considerations, including human rights. including your OWN human rights.

  32. It is interesting that both this article and the commentary and the one about rive things foreign men should know about dating Korean women are almost carbon copies of the situation in Japan in the 1960′s.

    I married a Japanese girl and we stayed together 44 years until we lost her to cancer a few years back. It was as close to perfect as you can ever get. We certainly met with racism in Japan and later in the US but the only place we never got any racist commentary or attitude was the 15 years we spent in Spain. For those of you (males) who plan to enter anultural relationship know the customs, a little of the history but above all the language because when push comes to shove for the most part the women will want to speak in their own language. They are far more tied to their homeland than are we men. That’s not just my experience but many men who I have met in inter-cultural relationships.

  33. Ok – let me dispell the myth. Women are women – there is cultural difference here … yes.
    But – women are women. I have had 5 korean lovers. 2 in the states. 3 here. For the record I am not really that good looking, or in perfect shape. I take care of myself – and have basic style. I am older. I have only been here 2 months. Yes – they are marriange minded. But they are human, just like everyone else. They are fun – and respectful. And clean and cute. What is the secret? … to finding and having a korean girl … simple -> Language and culture … learn it and respect it, have confidence, be a gentleman.

    Do this – and you will have what you want.

    It sounds contrary to what you read above here. Spend time learning the language, spend
    time learning the culture. Meet people to meet them – to understand them. Date a woman and be a man – dont be a jerk, dont be a wimp, korean women respond well to confidence and basic courtesy. Dont chase… reach out – and ask, if negged … do it again. Learn from the trials.

    And when you have the pleasure of sharing your body with her … treat her with respect and courtesy, and give her the best sex she has ever had. She will love it, and treat you with courtesy back, and give you great sex in return.

    So – boys … it is not a friggin mystery … it is simple. It works. I tell the truth.

  34. Shane Prime says:

    Hello Guys.
    My name is Prime n I am 23 now.

    I would like to tell you my story.
    I am Asian British n I met a girl she was Korean(old enough)but national of Korea n her parents lives in seoul.We met through Internet and she flew to me in Germany.I fell in love n I don’t wanted to be a boyfriend or girlfriend life.Coz I am not allowed by my religion.I married after 20 days.
    She didn’t tell to anybody that she is gonna marry.She told her family that there is a conference in Europe so she is going to attend that. I treated her very well. But she played with me n with my emotions. My whole family knows that I am gonna get married n I married at age of 22 .I loved her so much that I can’t describe.You can understand like this way that I can deal with my life for her.But what she did to me I can’t forget.As soon as she flew back her behaviour n everything was changed n I get annoyed n angry sometimes that why it is like so. N finally she want divorce n she broke her promises n dump me.Coz I am studying now n I don’t have strong family background.There was no trouble to communicate as she was canadian n I m british. I have also learnt some Korean. Each n EVEYTHING is gone. I feel shame in front of my family n friends.My heart is broken.I was hospitalised. I wasted my parents money. N main thing that matters that my inner most peace n comfort of mind is lost. I can’t over come on it.This LOVE damages me at my best.it kills me inside n I am angry at myself that why do I love her this much.n she have no worth of anything. N I think she never been in Germany so she needed someone who give her company n pleasure n much more, n I was that stupid that I couldn’t understand this,n this is the repaid of Korean girls n now I can’t concentrate on my studies n this is what I deserve to be left her alone n get hurted.

    MY ADVICE:-
    All of you specially male people.Never get serious or long relationship with Korean girl otherwise you will be same in my position or may be worst.Just find one from china or Thailand or same ethnic girls but not Korean.sorry to say otherwise simple (excuse me a bit please) you are F***ed sooner or later.

    These people understand each other better than anyone else.So remember me.Only hiding face in blanket n crying will be the result of loving them too much.
    Wish you best of luck.Good bye.

  35. I love korea, the people are peaceful, smiling all the time, girls are cute and i wish to date one. anyway nothing against that don\’t believe until u come and see. every person have his own point of view

  36. tattooman22 says:

    I have had a korean gf for 4 years now, i live in Canada and she still lives in Korea. I think the most concerning thing for me is that she is way over sensitive and can be a drama queen. This was difficult for me to deal with but she is getting better. She also is cool in a way where she does not care what koreans think when i come there, and i stick out like a sore thumb! I am a pretty big muscle guy and have full sleeve tattoos as well so the older folks really dont know what to think, lol…alot of girls there openly flirt with me too and she gets crazy about this. I love korea but i can really see some of the dynamics you guys identified. Still on the fence about marriage though and her family is crazy about this cause she is 33.

  37. I have lived in Seoul, South Korea for my whole life (supposing you subtract all those momentary family vacations, all of which were less than a month long).
    South Koreans value education more highly above ANYTHING ELSE. Even boyfriends, girlfriends, blah blah blah. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend while being a south korean student is not considered cool here. On the contrary, it means that you are a slacker, loose and constitute every other polite word that implies something rude.
    So don’t expect too much of the people here: they are NOT looking for the start of a special relationship. And most women over 25 are desperately searching for reliable men eligible to marry. These men are the type that treat women as if they cannot pick up their own bags or are incapable of feeding themselves (really disgusting and condescending, but irrelevant too so I won’t delve deeper). The kind that have the flashiest cars and have graduated from a prestigious university. Oh, and good looking as well. Women have highly unrealistic expectations of men sometimes, but perhaps we would be more reasonable if the men didn’t baby us so much.
    What’s that, you say? You thought that Korean women were easy? Of course you do, since you are a foreigner. Most koreans treat westerners specially because they want to improve their English and learn more about America/Canada/britain. South Korean girls are especially flirtatious because they are taught that 애교 will get them just about anything. Don’t let that fool you, though. Look around: You see all those churchs with the red crosses? Ironically, South Korean culture is influenced by a surprising amount of Christian values. No South Korean girl in her right mind would sleep with a guy who wasn’t her future husband. There’s a reason you Korean pornography is so rare.

  38. Paulypocket says:

    great comments and posts….everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    As a Korean American myself, I find most of these comments to be true. I’m self-employed in the states and been working 80+ hours a week for the past 10 years and decided that I needed a break from work on my 30th birthday….I decided to travel around Korea since I was born to native Koreans. It’s been 5 months already and quite a culture shock too.
    As an American, I’m used to personal space. Since Korea is so packed, you will have none of that during your stay. Back in the states, I’m used to walking around making eye contact or looking ahead towards the direction that I’m going. Most Koreans here seems to be glued to their smart phones which causes them to walk right into you. Just little stuff like that at first was annoying and quite frustrating but it’s just a simple culture difference that we as a foreigner must acknowledge.
    People here are really friendly (well, it helps that I can speak korean fluently also) but my opinion is that everyone seems to enjoy “showing off” a lot. I get stared down a lot because I enjoy walking around these hot, humid, summer days with just my cargo shorts and cut-off tshirts while everyone are sporting their new designer brands. Most of them, I see often because I’m on the same subway line as them and they seem to be wearing the same stuff daily. What they don’t know is that I have a 7 month old Carrera 4S in my garage back home…oh well….anyways, for those who feel frustrated in Korea, just remember that it’s nothing personal….it’s just culture difference….either get used to it or just go back home. :razz:

  39. Paulypocket says:

    great comments and posts….everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    As a Korean American myself, I find most of these comments to be true. I\’m self-employed in the states and been working 80+ hours a week for the past 10 years and decided that I needed a break from work on my 30th birthday….I decided to travel around Korea since I was born to native Koreans. It\’s been 5 months already and quite a culture shock too.
    As an American, I\’m used to personal space. Since Korea is so packed, you will have none of that during your stay. Back in the states, I\’m used to walking around making eye contact or looking ahead towards the direction that I\’m going. Most Koreans here seems to be glued to their smart phones which causes them to walk right into you. Just little stuff like that at first was annoying and quite frustrating but it\’s just a simple culture difference that we as a foreigner must acknowledge.
    People here are really friendly (well, it helps that I can speak korean fluently also) but my opinion is that everyone seems to enjoy \"showing off\" a lot. I get stared down a lot because I enjoy walking around these hot, humid, summer days with just my cargo shorts and cut-off tshirts while everyone are sporting their new designer brands. Most of them, I see often because I\’m on the same subway line as them and they seem to be wearing the same stuff daily. What they don\’t know is that I have a 7 month old Carrera 4S in my garage back home…oh well….anyways, for those who feel frustrated in Korea, just remember that it\’s nothing personal….it\’s just culture difference….either get used to it or just go back home. :razz:

  40. I am a Korean female. Anyway, what I believe is \"feathers flock together.\" Which means that you are not able to tell what are people like only referring to a certain area. I\’ve seen so many classes exist even in a country, and they feel and seem so different. You will find one who exaclty you\’ll be satified with as your spouse. And she or he will feel the same as well. The classes and cultures decide it, not a certain country though it may have some common aspects of many people. Sorry… but I see people in the world meet opposite sexes in a club or in a pub. That\’s npt good at all for your body and I can say the person you are meeting is the exactly the same level as yours.. this is truth. Well to be happy we have to be serious. Giving our mind to to our own her or him should be considered well. Im 21… my opinion is that our marriage and relationship is about future, love and purity. Not passion by bodies… youll get the same person as you are.. We can be happier if we understand the world more clearly. Be firm by yourself then seek for parteners wherever they are at. Good luck and Thanks :)

  41. I do no think it matters what the woman’s age is or her status or her origin, the important thing is to know what to do when you decide that a woman is for you, the hard part is understanding the communication coming from the other side, you need to learn to see the sings and react to them, at the end it becomes a second nature, there is a cool article I found that covers the very basics I hope it will help you, http://bewitchingcloseness.com

  42. First of all, I know I shouldn\’t, but to those 2 commenters: eat my big fat white dick. You give Koreans a bad Rep. My 2 thousand years of Hungarian culture sh*ts on your cocky, overly nationalistic and plain racist brain. Korea isn\’t some holy land where all it\’s people are protected by a bubble of dignity and tradition. It\’s a thoroughly modern and smart country trying to jump over the hurdle of old f*cks and retards like you that try to hold everyone else back. Get a life, or get laid, maybe try to actually please your women with your limp dick. And if you are going to insult America(I\’m not even American ) learn how to use some proper f*cking grammar jeeez

    Anyways, I\’m living in Vancouver and been in a very good relationsHip for about a year and a half. Vancouver is a city of all kinds of races living together, and yes, loving each other. Im dating a beautiful Korean woman, but the thing is, i cannot give 2 sh*ts that she is Korean. Like minded people with similar moral values always attract, and yes flourish. Just like me and my family leaving europe, she wanted to escape, or just be distanced from her native country, and its the harsh truth. I have at least a dozen Korean friends that think the exact same way. There are so many people in the world like those 2 dickheads above, that try to make life harder for us because of something that we dont even notice in our daily lives. Im not even really into Korean women in particular, but i will give them plenty of compliments nontheless. I think white guys that particularly target koreans women are kinda losers to be honest. You shouldnt base your relationships on where a person is from. Do we have cultural differences? Is there a slight language barrier? Sure. But if two people belong together, all those concerns go out the trash. And fuck all the haters that think otherwise

  43. Hello :)
    I am Korean and I was born and raised in Hong Kong where I had a British education..I moved to Korea for university, and thus I’ve been living in Seoul for about 4 years. I do not have a specific cultural or national identity I feel.. Due to have assimilated myself with a mixmatch of British, Hong Kong as well as Korean culture (mostly British though …) I have found myself to not belong anywhere.

    That being said, dating culture in Korea is extremely complex. And frankly, I have given up on it. English being my first language, made it hard for me to communicate as freely as I wanted to with the people I dated (who were Korean) My Korean is fluent, but unfortunately not very native. Finding love for a Kyopo Korean woman is quite hard as well..(It doesn’t seem to very hard for the Kyopo males (Even the dorky guyfriend from home find themselves enormously popular as a Kyopo boy!) . But that is from my own subjective observations)

    ANYHOW!
    I quite disagree with some of the views in these comments. These dating customs for Korea are clearly undesirable, but they are cultural differences that we cannot really deem as incorrect. Perhaps there are many dating factors in western culture, that Koreans do not agree with.

    I say this, but still I am dismayed. I do not think that I am very suited to the dating culture here.. It seems very cookie-cutter. Many men (as well as women of course) are taught how to act during dating, and thus do not really show as much character as they really have. I believe they called this “nae soong”… EIther way, it makes relationships very boring or very… dispassionate nearly…

  44. Ah I wanted to add that (As a Korean, well, Kyopo Korean woman)

    1. Yes, It seems that many Korean women here DO get into serious relationships with foreigners (as in being faithful, and actually being in love yes yes) ….BUT seem to think otherwise in terms of marriage or any other long-term factors

    2. It seems if you are ridiculously good looking or ridiculously (and i mean VERY VERY) rich, it seems like cultural factors do not hinder the relationship as much (But that is the same anymore sadly)

    In my opinion @Pedro Ambrosio **********************
    3. Exploring sexuality = Does not mean a fetish. I think it means that the women here are liberated to make their own sexual decisions without having to consider themselves as “property” of the nation, they do not have to stay in the cookiecutter mold of the “Nice, Christian, virgin, ignorant” that seems to be a factor of femininity in S.Korea. They have the independence and individuality to explore their own emotional and sexual needs.
    In fact Pedro, I sincerely doubt you can choose what these women are allowed to be attracted to.. and I think what the writer wanted to say was that the women here are no longer feeling as much pressure in holding back their sexuality (Very similar to the situation of Victorian England don’t you think)

  45. I have my own experience with Korean-American women: bad tempers! I live in an American city with a huge Asian population, and I have no less than 7 friends, relatives, and co-workers married to Korean or Korean-American women, including me! Every one of these guys says his wife is sweet, charming, smart and beautiful. And all but one of these guys says his wife has trouble controlling her anger. I think it’s inherited, because several of these women are adopted. Sure, maybe the real story is that all these guys are jerks. But be forewarned anyways.

  46. Funny thing is, two of the American guys married to Korean women in my story are from other parts of Asia. One guy from Thailand, and the other from Taiwan.
    I didn’t list the Koran-American men I know married to Korean or Korean-American women, because they don’t seem to have any troubles. I should ask these guys for marriage advice!
    And the two western women I know who married Korean men don’t have any complaints either!

  47. I am a white girl and I find korean men very attractive.

  48. lester says:

    wow i was reading the comments and it made me sad to read some mean comments towards koreans! i admire south korea’s culture… and i also find south korean women very beautiful.. please ignore those mean comments towards your culture/race.

    God be with you

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