After living in Korea for 4 years I’ve seen many Westerners have a great dating life in Korea. They got past the myths of dating Korean women and were able to accept the truth.
Myth #1: Korean women only want affection; Men only want intimacy
Fact: Both men and women want ‘affection’ and ‘intimacy’
Society has done well separating the roles between men and women. Korean society has also done well to make sure women cannot show their sexual desires. It is called the “eumjae and yangjae” dichonomy or ‘음재 양재’. It stands for ‘light’ and ‘shadow’. For some reason Koreans classify a woman into one OR the other category. She’s either a good woman or a whore.
A Korean woman must always come across as a being part of the ‘light’. That means never showing sexual desires. If she does (even though she wants to) she might be in social trouble.
A man is able to show his desires but then society labels him as a ‘feeling-less dog’ giving women leeway to hurt his feelings (because he “doesn’t have any”.)
The reality is that men and women are human beings and have the same desires (maybe not to the same extent.) Being able to stay ‘nonjudgmental’ and understanding of the opposite sex will help you with dating Korean women.
Myth #2: Women want ONLY men with money and status; Men want ONLY gorgeous women.
Fact: What women and men want varies from person to person!
This is a really horrible myth for both men and women.
As men, if we see a gorgeous woman, we might think that if she enters our life, she will bring tremendous value. Therefore we need to have the amount of money and power that equals her beauty.
Women who only work on improving their looks are leaving themselves short-changed as well. A real man wants a woman who looks pretty but who also has other things going for her (if she is to stay in his life.)
Myth #3: Korean women are easy
Fact: Korean women sense that mindset and are more skeptical about those foreigners who think that way.
This is the worst myth out there.
I can’t tell you about all the posts I’ve read, and people I’ve talked to (and I’ve believed this myself before reaching where I am today), who thought that Korean women are easy.
Myth #4: Koreans are “Americanized”
Fact: Koreans are in a state of change
Although there is a strong movement thanks to the younger generation here that is making Koreans more independent and seeking individual pleasures, Korean society itself is still very much Confucian.
A good friend of mine who hangs out with higher society people (executives, business owners, etc) at clubs, would bring in his regular friends (guys who have decent jobs, but nothing too grand by society‟s standards) and the higher society group WOULD NOT mingle with my buddy’s other friends.
The regular friends understood and accepted that. If you want to do well with dating Korean women you need to understand that your social status plays a big role on your dating life.
Myth #5: Korean women are not sexually active!
Fact: Korean women are human beings in that department too! 😉
While reading posts from people living overseas who are trying to date Korean women, I’ve come across the issue where Korean women will act “surprised” or shocked at any sexual advance.
For the most part Koreans are still quite conservative but not all of them. A lot of Korean women are very active and experienced in bed. They just dress like all the other Koreans so are hard to spot. Also they are very careful with whom they share that side of them.
Remember the ‘eungjae/yangjae’ dichotomy? A Korean woman’s most important asset is her reputation.
Myth #6: In Korea everyone speaks English.
Fact: English is considered a subject in school the same way that Math and Science are.
Just because Korea’s government is investing tons of money (about 15 billion dollars back in 2006), doesn’t mean that they’re getting their money’s worth.
Koreans aren’t as fluent in English as we’d like them to be. Not only that but their wording and grammar can throw you off. They do try though, and yes it’s a lot easier today than it was 5 years ago.
Myth #7: Koreans should accept me for who I am, just like in America / Canada / Australia / etc.
Fact: Welcome to a “Whole new world!”
Eh, welcome to Korea! 😉
This is a country that is still ruled by Confucianism where title, age and occupation still determine your social status and value.
Personality and individuality are Western traits and has to do with world’s history. The West in general had it easier than Korea in terms of surviving. The West was able to spend time focusing on individuality and abstract thoughts.
Not so in Korea. Their focus was on surviving and how nice a person is played no role in helping people who are looking for food. In Korea the higher your status the less likely you were to starve.
You can see that mindset today as well. Most Koreans value your social standing and its’ benefits. Who you are may be nice on an individual basis but in general your personality plays a smaller role.
And no Koreans don’t have to accept you for who you are. Either you bring value to their social standing or you don’t.
Dating Korean Women Is Worth It!
These myths may shock you. They will also prepare you for what Korean culture and society is like. You will be better prepared for what you’ll have to face. For more on Korean ladies I recommend clicking on the link.