Entertainment | Teaching Kimchi

What Does A Korean Woman Want When Dating An English Teacher?

November 2, 2011 by Paul · Leave a Comment

Would a Korean woman ever want to date an English teacher?

Only those that know what they want! Well what do Korean women want when they date an English teacher in Korea? Wouldn’t they want the same things that they would want from a local Korean man?

Not exactly – In fact you can boil down a Korean woman’s desires to these 4 things:

• an alternative
• an adventure
• Acceptance
• Activity

Soon you’ll discover what it takes to become the man that she’ll think about all day. All it takes is understanding and applying these 4 points.

Note that this also applies to women looking to date Korean men.

A Korean Woman Wants An Alternative

When she’s dating you she’s really interested in how different you are from Korean men. She’s tired of the same old dating routine. She’s at a point in her life where she finds local Korean men typical and wants an escape.

We’re talking more than just behavior. We’re also talking about expectations. Korean men typically became too domineering and intrusive for her. Not only that but she probably met them through her social circle and has to stay tied up to their expectations.

When she’s dating you she can relax because her friends and family don’t know you (she probably won’t tell them either.) She’s looking for a new experience and you can provide her with it.

So I recommend showing her your world and culture. Teach her your language. Dress like you would from you country and she’ll appreciate it (as long as it’s not TOO different.)

A Korean Woman Wants An Adventure!

In addition to an alternative dating experience she’s also looking for an escape! Your differences scream ‘adventure’ to her! A lot of Korean women are bored with their repetitive lives. They watch foreign T.V. and are curious about the experience.

This is where you shine! You can present yourself as an escape from her everyday life. This is something where Gyopos can actually shine more. Gyopos (foreign-Koreans) can provide her with the adventure AND make her feel more comfortable. This is because we are all more comfortable with what looks familiar.

A Korean Woman Seeks Acceptance!

There is an abundance of beautiful Korean women. Sadly they don’t pass the ‘standards’ of what Korean men want. Maybe they’re not ‘white’ enough. Maybe they’re not ‘thin’ enough. Perhaps their face isn’t ‘small’ enough.

So what can they do? They know that foreigners have different tastes than the locals. Korean women can land more quality foreign men than they could with a Korean man. It doesn’t mean that Korean men have more quality – it just means that they have a different taste.

This is why you can have a long term relationship with a Korean woman. She can have a much more attractive and quality foreign man than a Korean man.

A Korean Woman Wants Activity!

Sadly most Korean dating resorts around going to restaurants or movies (with their huge camera.) As a foreign man you can introduce her to new foreign experiences!

You can take her salsa dancing! Introduce her to darts and a Western sports bar! If you live in Korea you can bring her to Itaewon in Seoul (most Korean women haven’t had the chance to go.)

Get Started With Approaching Her!

If you want information on how to approach a Korean woman with success then I recommend going my site on dating Korean women. You can discover what it takes to meet and date Korean women anywhere around the world.

It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Hurt!

So you are an alternative experience but would she want to date you forever? Would you? She understands that as an English teacher you won’t be in Korea forever. You must understand that Korean women have social expectations – and they value those expectations.

That being said if you understand your relationship (or relationships) might not last forever then you’ll have a great time in Korea!

Have fun!

BlueM

dating tips site on meeting and dating korean women!

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A Korean Romance Buzz Korea

July 29, 2011 by Paul · Leave a Comment

How well do you know Korea? Come and meet the charms of Korea at Touch Korea! You are warmly invited!

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Top 10 Things to Do in Seoul

June 26, 2011 by Paul · Leave a Comment

One of the largest and by night the most colorful cities in the world, Seoul is truly an eye-popping experience. Whether you’re here for a month or three years, never hesitate to seize any chance to take a look around. The following are 10 popular destinations.

Gyeongbok Palace. Destroyed and reconstructed several times, Seoul’s grandest palace offers English tours (three times daily) for foreigners looking to learn about Korea’s history and architecture while admiring the stunning view. It’s closed on Tuesdays and not far from the Blue House (the President’s seat). You probably won’t have much trouble finding it, seeing as it’s at the north end of Sejongro, Seoul’s main thoroughfare.
Bukchon Village. Nearby Gyeongbok and Changdeok Palaces sits this well-preserved village of traditional wooden homes (hanok) featuring small courtyards, beautiful outer walls, and tiled roofs. Take your time through the neighborhood and admire the art galleries.
Eat. A lot. Anyone who’s ever had kalbi never forgets it. The same can be said of doenjang jjigae (stew with bean paste, vegetables and/or meat, and tofu) and bulgogi (literally “fire meat,” marinated barbecued beef, chicken, or pork). If you’re feeling brave, try the kimchi, although you may want a breath mint on hand. For a full-course lunch, try heading to Baedongbaji in Samcheong-dong.
Shinsegae Department Store. A stroll through here is a cultural lesson in itself. A veritable labyrinth of shopping snares like fresh fish, beloved kimchi, and Ferragamo shoes will likely mesmerize you for (gulp) hours. Prepare to be overwhelmed by the sheer variety of goods offered and have a well-earned breath of fresh air on the rooftop. Find it between the Namdaemun market and the Myeongdong shopping district.
War Memorial and Museum. Sadly the butt end of countless foreign invasions, prepare for a sobering morning by visiting the museum ($3 admission) and learn about its military and cultural history. Much of its current tensions with nearby neighbors (and those across the Pacific) make a lot of sense after some time spent here. Head for Samgakji Station via subway line 4, and try to visit the place early in the day to give yourself time to cheer up.
Bugaksan. Seoul is nestled in the mountains, so you might as well climb one. On this one, you’ll find several trails to take you through reconstructed 15^th century gates along fortress walls. About 40 years ago, North Korean commandos sent to assassinate the president climbed the very peak but were unsuccessful. The Seoul Fortress is newly re-opened for touring (although you’ll want to make your reservations at least a week in advance) since its closing over security concerns. Don’t forget to bring your passport on the trail.
N’Seoul Tower. This 480m high beauty—complete with elevators and a chill lobby—replaced Mt. Namsan’s fortifications. The area underwent a makeover in 2005 and now looks totally modern. Take a seat in one of the many cafes and restaurants (try the revolving one) and admire the evening lights.
Namdaemun market. The best place to get the best bargains in town is undoubtedly Namdaemun market. You’ll find everything from household appliances to food, jewelry to fabrics in a stretch of street-vendor stalls. Try some of the vendors’ food—mandu gook, a dumpling soup, is a widespread favorite. Get to the market via subway line 4 to Hoehyeon Station.
Cheonggyecheon Stream. It may not be a babbling brook in the woods, but this manmade waterway is the place to bring your romantic partner, although half of Seoul will be doing the same. Whisper sweet nothings all the way to the stream, just off Sejongro.
Itaewon. Even if you’re new to Korea, if you’re a foreigner you’ve likely heard of Itaewon’s bars, clubs, and shopping district near the U.S. Army base. In the basement of the Crown Hotel is one of Itaewon’s most beloved clubs, Club Volume, where you’ll hear some of the world’s most celebrated DJs. It’s not all late-night entertainment, though; have Sunday brunch at Le Saint Ex, a French wine bar and bistro.

Don’t forget that Seoul is also home to four UNESCO World Heritage Sites: Changdeokgung, Hwaseong Fortress, Jongmyo Shrine, and the Royal Tombs of the Joseon Dynasty. These are worth checking out, too.

Bio: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and researcher for College Scholarships, where recently she’s been researching African American college scholarships as well as college grants by degree level. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.

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Top 10 Misconceptions of Koreans

April 1, 2011 by Paul · 51 Comments

They all like kimchi. Not too long ago, I saw an ad in a Korean magazine for a small refrigerator specifically for kimchi. Since it said “#1 best seller,” I’m guessing it sells a lot. Still, it’s kind of like saying all Americans love hamburgers, isn’t it?
They all know Tae Kwon Do. I know Tae Kwon Do; I’m Japanese-American. My half-Korean, half-German friend does judo. For Koreans and all other Far East Asians stereotyped in this manner, consider responding, “Do you want to find out?”
They like golf. I’m going to let Margaret Cho answer this one. Regarding the stereotypes that Koreans all like golf: “Well, everybody does but me. So, there is one Korean person who doesn’t.”
They eat dogs. Yes, many of us have grown up with Fidos and Lassies, but the truth is that so have many Koreans, especially of the newer generations. When it comes down to it, a dog is an animal like any other that is technically edible and is valued differently in the older Korean culture than in the American one. Eating a dog in America would be similar to eating a beef steak in India—a huge no-no. Today, while some Koreans eat dogs, it might be safe to say that it’s a minority of the population. The overall attitude in recent years seems to have gone from “personal choice” to “unnecessary cruelty” (and the issue of sanitation also comes into play). The dogs that are eaten are supposedly killed by an electric rod rather than being beaten to death, so the issue of cruelty is as debatable as cow slaughter in America.
They work too much. I came across a transcript to a KBC 9.9 podcast between 4 participants who talked about misconceptions of Koreans. In it, the overall consensus seems to be that while Koreans do hang around the classroom or office long before and after working hours, their time isn’t always spent productively. Whereas some Koreans consider Americans lazy and inconsiderate for “working” from only 9 to 5, Koreans see themselves as dedicated members of the workplace. They arrive early so they’re not hurried before a class or meeting, and they stay late in case the boss needs someone to do something. Meanwhile, many of them can be seen playing with their cell phones or browsing the web. The issue here is availability and dedication, not always quality of time spent.
They’re terrible drivers. When judged by North American standards, Korean drivers are rude. Consider this, though: there are 47 million people in a 100,000 square km country. There’s not a whole lot of space. Those three inches between your car and the Korean guy who cut you off? That was nothing. Moreover, Daniel (on the KBC 9.9 podcast) says that Koreans are taught to drive that way in driving school. They’re taught to drive “by instinct and that’s what they do when they get on the highway.” When asked whether the concept of right of way has ever occurred to them, Daniel says that Koreans don’t have it in their culture, and it’s all about who steps on the gas first. This isn’t rude. It’s different.
They’re rude. While we’re talking about rude, many non-Koreans complain when they go to the peninsula that nobody apologizes or thanks them for anything. Let’s remember that 47 million people are crammed into a country the size of Tennessee. If you apologized to everyone you bumped into or couldn’t hold the door for, you’d never get to the office before noon. Perhaps Koreans can be found to be less friendly than “Western people” (although this statement, made by Chance on the podcast, is itself iffy, since many Americans find Brits unfriendly, and so forth). Still, once you get to know a Korean, he or she is a friend like anyone else, yes?
Insert misconception here. See Misconception 10.
Insert misconception here. See Misconception 10.
They’re jingoists. This one is sticky and long-winded, and because it plays into every other stereotype (and why I’m only writing on 8 instead of a clean 10), I’ve listed it last.
Let me elaborate. Until now, I didn’t know any Korean stereotypes. As a Japanese-American, I’ve seen both sides of my heritage screw over Korean heritage pretty badly. I should be full of ideas for stereotypes, right? Wrong. After a two-hour search on Google, I could gather no more than these 8 misconceptions of Koreans. Here’s why.

In the June 30, 2002 article of the New York Times titled, “Soccer Must Keep The Ball Rolling,” the writer elaborated on a controversial referee call in the match between South Korea and Spain on June 22 in the FIFA World Cup of that year. “Some fans and national officials see these questionable calls as part of a plot favoring South Korea, a blend of jingoism and paranoia that is quite unbecoming.”

If the writer intended to be subjective, fine, but let’s not pretend he’s calculated Korean history into his judgment that a) there was a plot, and it showed a blend of b) jingoism and c) paranoia that was d) unbecoming. He might consider them “jingoistic” because he’s not used to a country stomped on for so many centuries utter a cry for unity.

On June 25, a writer of the Associated Press ends the article “Record crowds watch South Korea lose semifinal to Germany” by saying, “The success has been a huge boost in this land of 47 million that has long suffered from an inferiority complex, being squeezed between China and Japan, who often invaded and subjugated the country.”

Korea is often referred to as “the shrimp that gets caught in the middle of whales.” China and Japan have both chewed on it. But dear Associated Press writer, let’s not forget that whole Korean War bit. The Korean Peninsula is the only remaining place in the world that remains divided since the Cold War thanks to the U.S. and Russia, according to Kosuke Takahashi, a journalist born to Japanese parents and raised in Koreatown near Tokyo.

Many people in the western world would dismiss Korean nationalism as jingoism because it’s been a long, long time since North America and England have been stepped upon by an outside empire. Because Korea is often dismissed as a subjugated nation that influenced no country save its own (a crippling and false accusation), it lacks in resounding stereotypes, at least that a non-Korean and my sometimes-friend Google could find. Most other “misconceptions” applied to Far East Asians in general, like enjoying rice and not being able to see out of squinty eyes. If you feel the need to enlighten me, please do so. I’d welcome a mature response.

Bio: Lisa Shoreland is currently a resident blogger at Go College, where recently she’s been researching disability grants as well as comparing student loans. In her spare time, she enjoys creative writing, practicing martial arts, and taking weekend trips.

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Top 3 Realizations You Must Know Before Dating Korean Women!

September 27, 2010 by Paul · 10 Comments

Back by popular demand. This is a guest post by BlueM. You can find his newest ebook here.

I’ll get straight to the point.

If you’re coming to Korea and want a serious relationship with a Korean woman, think twice!

Contrary to what many clueless people say: dating or getting seriously involved with a Korean woman, isn’t easy at all. In fact it can be downright frustrating no matter how much you love each other!

I’ve been living in South Korea for more than 3 years, going on dozens of dates and then dating many Korean women not because I wanted to, but because of I had no other choice: I’m a foreigner.

I’ll explain.

I’ve read books about the country, am learning the language, and have helped both foreigners and Koreans with their dating lives. These are my conclusions:

Korea has some of the most beautiful and fun women in the world, but if you want to have a serious relationship with them in Korea you need to understand and accept a few things.

You need to understand that dating a foreigner is still seen as taboo here. On top of that, you’re going to have communication barriers beyond just language. Finally, you need to ask yourself how long you plan on living in Korea and if it’s worth it at all!

Dating a foreigner is still taboo!

When it comes to relationships, the only difference between dating in North Korea and South Korea is that both countries have different governments (Not that I’ve tried anything in North Korea! )

In spite of the “integration” that’s been happening in South Korea’s tourism industry, a Korean woman dating a foreign man is frowned upon and a woman’s peers assume that she is unable to find a proper Korean man so she has to settle for a foreigner.

I’m sorry, but that’s how it is in Korea. I told you, this is going to be brutal, but if you plan on coming here, I want you to know what I wish someone had told me. I want you to know just what you’re facing so that you won’t be as disappointed as I have been countless times.

To add to the fire, foreigners are harshly misrepresented in the Korean media, especially English Teachers. The standard viewpoint of English Teachers is that they’re “losers back home” who can’t get a proper job. Armed with their fake degrees, they’ll come to Korea to make more money than they’re worth in the marketplace, or to spread AIDS with everyone who’s wearing a skirt.

I hate to say it, but foreigners will never be a part of Korean society as we know it: harmonious, functional, “pure”…

Discover the 3 main choices Korean women make!

So what happens? Korean women either:

a/ choose to go overseas and don’t tell their peers about their relationship(s) with foreigners
b/ choose to have a fling (or two) with foreigners just to satisfy a curiosity
c/ choose to go against their peers and thus against Korean society

When my Korean friends go overseas for the first time, I warn them. I tell them that they will not be the same person when they come back.

Like flying fish that jump out of the water for the first time, they will know that there is more to life than the society in which they grew up in (as for anyone leaving their native surroundings for the first time!)

Some of my Korean friends liked travelling so much that they never really came back. Their bodies might be back in Korea, but their minds and imagination is still overseas.

Choice (b) is very common in Korea. Now with an influx of foreign foods, goods, and people, both men and women are “sampling” foreigners to satisfy their curiosity.

This has hurt me the most. Many times I have had women leave our relationship simply because they never saw it as anything serious anyway (Not that there’s anything really wrong with that.)

Korean women are starting to explore their sexuality (which is great news) but they would not consider a serious relationship with a foreigner because of the reasons I talk about here.

For the last choice, Korean women must seriously consider what their peers will think of them. They have to deal with the stares that they’ll be getting on the street, in the subway, when they try to introduce you to their families. Not to mention the barrage of questions they’ll be getting such as “Is he just another English Teacher?” or “Wasn’t he on T.V. For raping so and so?”

Note: I’m not even speaking for the foreigners who aren’t Westerners. If you’re from developing countries or aren’t white, then get ready to deal with worse than what I’m talking about here!

If you’re in Korea, you’ll have to accept the fact that some old man (adjoshi) might chase you down , yelling obscenities at your girlfriend just because she is with you. Sure, this is rare, but I’ve had it happen and have heard about it happen to too many friends to ignore it.

Just a few months ago, this article came out. Times are changing but are they changing fast enough so that your Korean girlfriend can feel comfortable enough to just walk with you?

Communication issues

Dating someone from another culture is challenging not only because of the ‘language problem’. You also have to understand and accept that the other person has other values and beliefs too! For Korean women, they hold values and beliefs that their society and culture have given them ever since they were little girls.

For one thing, many Korean women have the fears that I’ve talked about earlier.You also need to understand that in general Korean society tends to value:

- harmony more than justice
- the group more than the individual
- conformity more than independence
- silence more than sound
- not being seen as wrong more than being right
- social status more than the person who has it

These differences in values are what frustrates foreigners the most both in sexual and non-sexual relationships. If you plan on coming to Korea and what to date Korean women, you need to understand that in most cases, what they value and seek out of a relationship is different than what you might expect from your home country…radically different!

We’re not even talking about the language barrier yet. So imagine you are attracted to a Korean woman, and she is attracted to you. The fact of the matter is, if you can’t communicate with her then building anything ‘long term’ will be difficult, if not impossible.

Sure, you can get involved, and even have a relationship started, but eventually she and you will want to talk about deeper things and feelings. Not only that, but you will both have different expectations in your relationship.

Foreigners aren’t in Korea forever

Finally, you need to ask yourself one question: Is South Korea a place you plan on settling in or not?
Many foreigners choose to leave after a taste of Korea and that makes locals conclude that foreigners aren’t in Korea for the long term.

Many Korean women don’t want to get emotionally involved with a foreigner because somewhere in their mind, they figure that the foreigner will leave sooner or later.

What about you? Are you planning on making Korea a place to live in? Or are you just passing by? If you’ve just come to Korea, then don’t worry about this question. You’ll have plenty of time during your stay here to ask yourself that.

The reason why I pose this question to you because you have to be honest with both yourself and with the women you’re with. I personally believe that if you’re not planning on staying here for more than a year, then just have fun and enjoy your time here (just don’t lie to the women you’re with! )

Know what you’re dealing with and stay aware!

If you’re like me, and you’re seriously considering getting involved with a Korean woman, then understand the obstacles and roadblocks you’ll facing and start looking for that diamond in the rough!

Sure, my experience is that of a typical guy in his late-twenties living in Seoul. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to be a pessimist. In fact I believe that if you’re willing to accept these facts (with an emphasis on “accept”) you can find ways around it. Many people have and are both in happy relationships and happily married in Korea.

I’m also not saying that there aren’t valid reasons for the circumstances we face. Too many foreigners have been careless and foolish here. Too many Koreans got hurt and they don’t want others to suffer the same fate. That’s why I’ve chosen to share my thoughts with you and prepare you for this wonderful country with it’s own wonders and challenges.

Thanks for reading!

BlueM

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