Living in Korea is very challenging. Even more so, building a life is even more work, especially a dating life.

Unfortunately, foreigners who come here make big mistakes when it comes to meeting and dating Korean women. In fact, I’ve taken the time to write down what I’ve found to be the biggest mistakes that foreign men make, during years of living in Korea and professionally helping men date Asian women.

#5 Thinking that Korean women are easy
Before I came to Korea, I was very excited because I imagined that Korea was a lot like South East Asia: Just show up and women will be lining up to go on dates with you!

Ahem.

Korea, I soon found out once I arrived here, is on the opposite side of the dating spectrum. In fact, I’ll even say that foreigners have more hurdles to go through in Korea than anywhere else in Asia. This is especially true the darker you are. What can I say? Life’s tough for us (I’m darker skinned as well) but if you really want to find and date the ideal Korean woman for you, it’s definitely possible and we’ll make it happen!

#4 Forgetting that the East and the West are different

It doesn’t take long to figure out that Western women and Korean women look different. What does take an eternity for guys to figure out is that Western and Korean women think, act, and do different!

This is more than just about the women themselves, but also the society and culture in which they’ve grown up in.

Korean women think that the man is responsible for escalating the date into something more. Therefor they won’t necessarily give you any sign, clue, hint, or impression that they want you to escalate the interaction. If they find you not wanting to hold their hand, caress their hair, or even kiss them, they will assume that you are not interested, and will move on.

Another key note is that Korean women love knowing that they have control of the date. This is quite different from Western women who enjoy being on the saddle more and feeling like they are taking control of the interaction. So they will act like they don’t like things more, will throw comments about your choices, BUT ultimately they want you to be in control and are more comfortable with it as well.

Also, Korean culture is quite the land mine. Have you hung out with Korean women? How about co-workers? Do you get the stares? Sometimes. How about those moments when you don’t get the stares?

She’s getting them. Big time.

Now I won’t get into the ‘whys’ or the “it shouldn’t be that way” debates. I will get into how they need to be considered when you’re going out with a Korean woman. For them, being looked at negatively by an adjoshi (which means ‘uncle’ in Korean) who could be her own father with whom she’s probably living with, is painful.

You see, being with a foreigner is still very new and different for her, regardless of whether or not you’re a gyopo or not. You want to calibrate how much hand-holding, touching, and especially kissing when you’re with her.

This is even stronger for when you’re approaching a random woman at the bookstore, or coffee shop or even the subway. You want to assume that she will be shocked and even frightened when you are going up to talk to her. Even more so, you want to expect that she will feel uncomfortable with the situation. Be sure to calibrate how you’re talking to her based off of that, and make sure that she feels comfortable with talking to you first, before you escalate the interaction.

#3 Don’t take advantage of that first impression
Ever wondered why Italians and French were so successful at scoring dates with American or Canadian women? It’s because they take advantage of the first impression.
Have you ever met an Italian man? To other men, they look like a typical guy with dark features, a weird accent, a slightly aggressive vibe, and an edgy look. What do they look like to women? An adventure…
Unfortunately, when I ride the subway, take the bus, hang out in Itaewon I see too many foreigners who look the same! They don’t have a ‘look’ going for them. They look like English teachers who just got off of work and are about to go to a bar. In other words, they look generic. They remind me more of the typical businessman adjosshi than the exciting and mysterious foreigner.
Foreigners are seen as different and exotic., Then how about using that to our advantage? Take a step back and look at how you can separate yourself from the rest of the foreigners out here. How can you make yourself look different than the rest of us?
Think about your hobbies, passions, ethnicity, home country, and find your image that radiates from who you are.
Gyopos! This is even more important for you because otherwise you will just come across as an English-Speaking Korean. The reason why most Gyopos tend to be treated like Koreans who want to be foreigners is because they come across as Koreans who want to be foreigners. You need to make your distinction even stronger.
For example, I’m from Texas, am learning Korean as a hobby, and have lived in the Mediterranean. When I go out, I tend to wear a cowboy hat, a T-shirt with Hangul in it, and leave a rugged look, similar to an Italians’. Do you think that I stand out? You bet! Do women come up to me and start conversations with me? You bet! Am I different from the rest of the pack? You bet!
Show your unique self more aggressively, and allow that to make women and people, curious about who you are and wanting to learn more…

#2 Not wanting to learn about their world
One thing that just gets be cringing is how many foreigners I meet who have lived here for years and know nothing about the culture besides Chuseok and Chinese New Years vacation! Most foreigners here don’t even speak basic Korean! Most foreigners don’t even bother trying!
Think about it. Imagine foreigners coming to your home country and not speaking the language. Not even bothering to! This is a big mistake!

Learning Korean is one of the BEST things you can do for yourself even if you’re only staying here for a month! You see, it’s not that you speak the language that counts, it’s that you’re willing to learn about them and their world. This gets you lots of points when it comes to meeting and dating Korean women. I mean even reading Hangul was designed to be easy! And what a great skill to have when you go back home and share your adventures with your social circle.

#1 Not going out at all!
This is THE biggest mistake I see guys make, and yet it’s the easiest one to deal with. Most foreigners who come here choose to go from work or school to their homes and only go out to go shopping!

Granted, this might be because it’s intimidating to be a foreigner in this country, or they might have kept the habit from their home country.

Whatever the reason, this habit must go! And you don’t have to go to Hongdae, high-priced clubs or massive social events.
You can go to coffee shops, bookstores, parks (during this time of year it’s great), such as Namsan park. Personally, I like coffee shops as Korea has become a coffee-drinking country, which I am happy to see.

Thanks for reading my article and if you have any questions, feel free to send me an email at BlueMystery@PickupAsia.com.

Image by KRWonder.

Photo: ifilms

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Photo: Miss Aleneous

I just wanted to share with you an interesting video ad on the net I saw today.

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While living in Korea, its easy to forget to focus on the important things.

Photo: cbellphoto

If you have been in Korea for a while, someone has bound to have asked you of what your blood type is. Here is the English explanation. I don’t know if its accurate or not, but its fun.

The Traits

Type O – The Warrior

•  trendsetter
•  loyal
•  passionate
•  self-confident
•  independent
•  ambitious
•  vain
•  jealous

Famous O’s

•  Queen Elizabeth II
•  John Lennon
•  Elvis Presley
•  Liam & Noel Gallagher
•  Paul Newman

Type A – The Farmer

•  calm
•  patient
•  sensitive
•  responsible
•  overcautious
•  stubborn
•  unable to relax

Famous A’s

•  Adolf Hitler
•  George Bush Senior
•  Soseki Natsume
•  Ringo Starr
•  Britney Spears

Type B – The Hunter

•  individualist
•  dislike custom
•  strong
•  optimistic
•  creative
•  flexible
•  wild
•  unpredictable

Famous B’s

•  Akira Kurosawa
•  Paul McCartney
•  Mia Farrow
•  Leonardo Di Caprio
•  Jack Nicholson

Type AB – The Humanist

•  cool
•  controlled
•  rational
•  sociable
•  popular
•  critical
•  sometimes standoffish
•  indecisive

Famous AB’s

•  Jackie Chan
•  Marilyn Monroe
•  John F Kennedy
•  Mick Jagger
•  Alain Prost

What’s your blood type?
Source: Wikipedia, Theppn, Japan Times, Japan Visitor

Mr. Gary Lee has a fascinating posts for Asians and those close to Asians. I’ve quoted it here just in case, but you can find the original post here: http://www.mrgarylee.com/my-most-asian-post-ever/

What Kind Of Asian Are You?

Young Asians in America come in many forms. Below are the major categories. Most Asians fit into multiple groups. For example, Rice-boys can also be Fobs and many Tabs are Fobulous. The only groups that are never part of another group are the Twinkies and the Asian-Americans. Claim your Fobbiness! When you see your Asian friend, greet them with “Wassup Fob!” And if your Asian friend says something ridiculous, say “Fob please!” Of course, when a non-Asian calls you a Fob, that is grounds for a fight. Ahahaha… The categories below are to be taken lightheartedly. Read, recognize and laugh.

Twinkie
- Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
- Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
- You have few Asian friends, if any
- You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you
- You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist
- You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is
- You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is
- You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock

Asian-American
- You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you’re whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere
- You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any
- You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college
- You read A. magazine and think it’s great
- You do not know who Edison, Jay Chou, Ayu, or G.O.D. are
- You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below

Yap (Young Asian Professional)
- You are in one of these professions:
a) Medicine / Pharmaceutical
b) Engineering
c) Finance
d) Investment Banking
e) Accounting
- Most of your wardrobe was purchased at Banana Republic
- You go to “mixers” on Thursday nights to meet other Yaps and talk about the Dow Jones.
- You did exactly what your parents wanted you to do and as a result, your life is hella boring
- Your apartment/home is decorated almost exclusively with stuff from Pier 1
- Your parents always talk to their friends about how much money you make. If they don’t, then you’re a dissapointment

Fob (Fresh Off tha Boat)
- You were not born in America
- You know who Edison, Jay Chou, Ayu, or G.O.D. are. In fact, you have seen them at Atlantic City or Las Vegas recently
- You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends
- You do not have any non-Asian friends
- Your parents do not speak any English
- When you speak English, you like to make everything plural
- You get extremely good grades in school
- You cannot dance
- Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you’re from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe

SuperFob
- Your command of the English language is minimal and you don’t care
- You like dim sum chicken feet
- You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn’t bootlegged
- Your only hangout is Chinatown
- All the lights in your house are fluorescent
- You dry your cloths outside your window
- You need a haircut
- You either smell like cigarettes or food

Fobabee
- You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently “awoken”
- You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
- You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
- You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white (Twinkie ; Banana) or Black (Chigger ; Tea egg)
- If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous

Gangsta Fob (Fobsta)
- You have shot another Asian
- Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
- When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
- Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you’ll shoot them
- You have a serious gambling problem
- You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
- No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you’ll shoot them
- You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs

Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)
- You shop at A/X, Bebe and Club Monaco
- You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to “mix it up”
- You do not weigh more than 105 lbs
- You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
- Platform heels are your favorite
- You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
- You do not smile in public
- You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
- You smoke
- Your cell phone is completely customized
- Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
- You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car
- You are often seen with Rice-boys
- You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend

Hoochie Tab
- You are an import car model
- Your boobs are not real
- There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere
- Clear heels are your favorite
- Your role models are Tila Nguyen and Kaila Yu
- Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
- You cheat on your boyfriend
- Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school

Rice-Boy
- You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
- Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it’s original stock form
- Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in
- The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing
- The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing
- You always drive like you are racing someone
- You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
- The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground
- Even though your car is a Honda, it goes faster and is worth more than a Lotus Esprit

Fobulous
- You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
- You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
- You listen to Asian pop as well as American music
- You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture
- You are a good dancer
- You date Asian by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race
- You are a good designer and have superior Html skills (for that fly MySpace / Xanga page)
- For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being
- You have lots of Asian pride

I guess its okay for Koreans to love Karaoke.

For all of you official journalists out there who would like a free trip to Korea.

Seoul Selection is looking for professional journalists interested in writing stories on the city of Seoul. Eligible for the Western press tour are print media journalists and travel columnists of established media companies in Europe, the Americas, and Oceania. Selected journalists may stay up to 10 days in Seoul to cover a story about this city of 10 million, beginning mid-April. All the expenses — roundtrip airfare to lodging and ground transportation — will be covered by the host, Seoul Metropolitan Government. For the year 2008, Seoul Selection will be administering the press tour program for the above-mentioned regions on behalf of Seoul Metropolitan Government, which seeks to promote Seoul tourism in the Western press.

Journalists of established Western media are preferred for the program, which will be held three times a year. Freelance writers including travel bloggers and influential writers and editors from magazines are also encouraged to apply. All program costs will be covered during the tour, including interpreter expenses, meals and accommodations.

Seoul Selection appreciates the interest showed by those who already submitted applications. We are sorry to ask, however, that you resubmit your application, using the new format in the attached file below. We want to assure you that your applications will go through the same process as the new applications.

You can find the original post here: http://www.seoulselection.com/newsletter_read.html?nid=333

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Asians are great.

Disclaimer: I am Asian.