Living in Korea is very challenging. Even more so, building a life is even more work, especially a dating life.

Unfortunately, foreigners who come here make big mistakes when it comes to meeting and dating Korean women. In fact, I’ve taken the time to write down what I’ve found to be the biggest mistakes that foreign men make, during years of living in Korea and professionally helping men date Asian women.

#5 Thinking that Korean women are easy
Before I came to Korea, I was very excited because I imagined that Korea was a lot like South East Asia: Just show up and women will be lining up to go on dates with you!

Ahem.

Korea, I soon found out once I arrived here, is on the opposite side of the dating spectrum. In fact, I’ll even say that foreigners have more hurdles to go through in Korea than anywhere else in Asia. This is especially true the darker you are. What can I say? Life’s tough for us (I’m darker skinned as well) but if you really want to find and date the ideal Korean woman for you, it’s definitely possible and we’ll make it happen!

#4 Forgetting that the East and the West are different

It doesn’t take long to figure out that Western women and Korean women look different. What does take an eternity for guys to figure out is that Western and Korean women think, act, and do different!

This is more than just about the women themselves, but also the society and culture in which they’ve grown up in.

Korean women think that the man is responsible for escalating the date into something more. Therefor they won’t necessarily give you any sign, clue, hint, or impression that they want you to escalate the interaction. If they find you not wanting to hold their hand, caress their hair, or even kiss them, they will assume that you are not interested, and will move on.

Another key note is that Korean women love knowing that they have control of the date. This is quite different from Western women who enjoy being on the saddle more and feeling like they are taking control of the interaction. So they will act like they don’t like things more, will throw comments about your choices, BUT ultimately they want you to be in control and are more comfortable with it as well.

Also, Korean culture is quite the land mine. Have you hung out with Korean women? How about co-workers? Do you get the stares? Sometimes. How about those moments when you don’t get the stares?

She’s getting them. Big time.

Now I won’t get into the ‘whys’ or the “it shouldn’t be that way” debates. I will get into how they need to be considered when you’re going out with a Korean woman. For them, being looked at negatively by an adjoshi (which means ‘uncle’ in Korean) who could be her own father with whom she’s probably living with, is painful.

You see, being with a foreigner is still very new and different for her, regardless of whether or not you’re a gyopo or not. You want to calibrate how much hand-holding, touching, and especially kissing when you’re with her.

This is even stronger for when you’re approaching a random woman at the bookstore, or coffee shop or even the subway. You want to assume that she will be shocked and even frightened when you are going up to talk to her. Even more so, you want to expect that she will feel uncomfortable with the situation. Be sure to calibrate how you’re talking to her based off of that, and make sure that she feels comfortable with talking to you first, before you escalate the interaction.

#3 Don’t take advantage of that first impression
Ever wondered why Italians and French were so successful at scoring dates with American or Canadian women? It’s because they take advantage of the first impression.
Have you ever met an Italian man? To other men, they look like a typical guy with dark features, a weird accent, a slightly aggressive vibe, and an edgy look. What do they look like to women? An adventure…
Unfortunately, when I ride the subway, take the bus, hang out in Itaewon I see too many foreigners who look the same! They don’t have a ‘look’ going for them. They look like English teachers who just got off of work and are about to go to a bar. In other words, they look generic. They remind me more of the typical businessman adjosshi than the exciting and mysterious foreigner.
Foreigners are seen as different and exotic., Then how about using that to our advantage? Take a step back and look at how you can separate yourself from the rest of the foreigners out here. How can you make yourself look different than the rest of us?
Think about your hobbies, passions, ethnicity, home country, and find your image that radiates from who you are.
Gyopos! This is even more important for you because otherwise you will just come across as an English-Speaking Korean. The reason why most Gyopos tend to be treated like Koreans who want to be foreigners is because they come across as Koreans who want to be foreigners. You need to make your distinction even stronger.
For example, I’m from Texas, am learning Korean as a hobby, and have lived in the Mediterranean. When I go out, I tend to wear a cowboy hat, a T-shirt with Hangul in it, and leave a rugged look, similar to an Italians’. Do you think that I stand out? You bet! Do women come up to me and start conversations with me? You bet! Am I different from the rest of the pack? You bet!
Show your unique self more aggressively, and allow that to make women and people, curious about who you are and wanting to learn more…

#2 Not wanting to learn about their world
One thing that just gets be cringing is how many foreigners I meet who have lived here for years and know nothing about the culture besides Chuseok and Chinese New Years vacation! Most foreigners here don’t even speak basic Korean! Most foreigners don’t even bother trying!
Think about it. Imagine foreigners coming to your home country and not speaking the language. Not even bothering to! This is a big mistake!

Learning Korean is one of the BEST things you can do for yourself even if you’re only staying here for a month! You see, it’s not that you speak the language that counts, it’s that you’re willing to learn about them and their world. This gets you lots of points when it comes to meeting and dating Korean women. I mean even reading Hangul was designed to be easy! And what a great skill to have when you go back home and share your adventures with your social circle.

#1 Not going out at all!
This is THE biggest mistake I see guys make, and yet it’s the easiest one to deal with. Most foreigners who come here choose to go from work or school to their homes and only go out to go shopping!

Granted, this might be because it’s intimidating to be a foreigner in this country, or they might have kept the habit from their home country.

Whatever the reason, this habit must go! And you don’t have to go to Hongdae, high-priced clubs or massive social events.
You can go to coffee shops, bookstores, parks (during this time of year it’s great), such as Namsan park. Personally, I like coffee shops as Korea has become a coffee-drinking country, which I am happy to see.

Thanks for reading my article and if you have any questions, feel free to send me an email at BlueMystery@PickupAsia.com.

Image by KRWonder.

Two decades ago, when Lee owned Hyundai Engineering and Construction Co. , the nation made a nonviolent changeover from an autocratic domination to democracy, hosted a productive Summer Olympics, and repeatedly racked upward yearly economical increase of eight per penny or much, creating Korea’s own economical miracle.

Lee stayed in a single room house in Seoul; his parents were working as street vendors. Lee worked hard to study in the college by peddling fruits and vegetables. In the year 1965, he joined the prestigious Hyundai Company. Later in 1977 he started his own largest Chaebol’s subsidiaries. Lee worked as mayor of Seoul since 2002 to 2006, during this period his direction was on stimulating financial glory days.

Lee’s victory led him to promise seven percent growth in economy. This doubles the per capita income up to $40,000 per year. Lee’s ambition plan for next 5 years is to make South Korea the 7th largest nation around the reality in economy, which is presently in 13th spot. Lee has a plan to cut down in the corporate tax by a third, to 10 percent. This will permit the investors in investing much, which leads to introduction in many jobs. Lee’s next focus is to bring down the unemployment rate. He has a plan to reduce the number of regulatory hoops which gives way to the Korean entrepreneurs in getting into the business. Lee is too concentrating on creating jobs by constructing large domestic canal which would link the country’s rivers.

Highlight of Lee’s triumph is packed by his international policies and South Korean strong relations with North Korea and also victorious meeting held in the month of October between current President Roh Moo Hyun and Kim Jong II.

Exactly 20 years after the best available and impartial election in the nation’s story, South Korea is now behaving like nothing if not an old democracy. Turnout in this election was just over 62% of the qualified electorate — downward abruptly from the 71% hat turned away to elect Roh Moo Hyun five years ago.

2007 election made South Koreans look that their nation has get then steady and too well-off. Nearly 40 percent of the electorate is downright bored with politics.

Source: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1696910,00.html

Born in New York City in the year 1941, Crawford grew up in Los Angeles and Mexico City. A wonderful teacher with 41 years of experience, loves to learn and impart knowledge. Crawford has worked as a teacher in China as well. He has contributed a lot by way of writing interesting books and journals. His current project includes a novel and articles for online journals. His other interests are politics, hiking, history, and environment.

A tool he recommends on the internet useful for English teaching would be the blog itself. “Ask the English Teacher http://crofsblogs.typepad.com/english is really a user-driven site: People sends him questions and quires and he tries to answer them. In the process, he says he often gets a chance to learn more about English before he gives a useful answer. In such a way he too gets benefited in a large way. He being not a trained ESL instructor gets to know about the problems faced by non-native English speakers and writers. That in turn gives him insight into the strange and wonderful language.

He find teaching to be an enjoyable profession , where each one, can bring in some surprises and challenges to the methods of teaching at any point of time —as well as the same old problems about I before E except after C, and subject-verb agreement.

The greatest attractions what he feels about learning and teaching English are that one never learn it all. The language changes before our eyes, and all one can do is to change with it.

Thanks a lot for your wonderful tips.

People interested can communicate with Crawford at http://crofsblogs.typepad.com/english and find solutions to problem related to English.

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Nik Peachey is an innovative man with many hats. He has an interesting take on how to teach English. His current project is developing an business English course inside Second Life, the Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.

He teaches and has activities with his students in the virtual world of Second life. I think that is ingenious! It’s fun and educational- Just how education should be.

Another tool he recommends for interactive slide shows and presentations is Voice Thread.

You can always find Nik at his blog.

Thanks for the tips Nik and maybe we’ll see you around Second Life.